Free for All Friday
The Number 1 LIVE STREAMING Podcast for Real Estate Agents and Entrepeneur's WORLD WIDE. With Hosts Johnny Awesome and Jimmy Fantastic every week they bring you industry breaking news, top industry leaders, and YOU. You can be a guest by emailing guest@freeforallfriday.com or call in anytime to have your question or comment answered LIVE (313) 644-4ALL
Free for All Friday
Episode 90 - Navigating the Unimaginable (The Stephanie Shewell Memorial Part 1)
This is the first part of a two-part series. It was recorded at midnight on September 1st, 2023 and it marked the beginning of a 24-hour live special.
Feeling helpless as a parent is an unimaginable experience, but it's a reality for those with terminally sick children. In our new season's debut, we're sharing an emotionally charged episode about the Stephanie Shewell Memorial Fund, a charity that provides crucial support to families in their darkest hours. Curt inspires us with the charity’s growth and its profound impact, highlighting the importance of emotional support alongside financial aid.
Curt shares heartwarming and heart-wrenching personal stories. Discussing the difficult struggle of being unable to protect one's child during such trying times and emphasizing the importance of standing together as a family.
You can donate to this fund via Venmo at: @OurAngelSteph
If you enjoy our content, please like, subscribe, and share. You can also catch the show LIVE @ facebook.com/freeforallfriday and make sure you stick around after for "the afterburner"
September 1st 2023. It was 12 am, seven hours before we officially launched season four of Free for All. Friday, kurt Shewell joined us to discuss the Stephanie Shewell Memorial Fund, a charity that comes alongside in AIDS families as they go through a very difficult time, by a family that understands those difficult times. When Jimmy and I made the decision to do a 24-hour podcast to celebrate four seasons, jimmy was the one that came up with the idea to tie it to a charity. As soon as that idea was born, both Jimmy and I knew exactly which charity we were going to pick. The following podcast is the very start of a 24-hour live podcast that we held. It is a continuation of Kurt Shewell's story, but it's also a story of the legacy left behind by his daughter together now too.
Jimmy Fantastic:So we're next to each other and we'll see him off.
Johnny Awesome:I haven't even broke. I will say there's one more thing coming up that's going to be really. I'll just go ahead and announce it now. Jimmy doesn't even know about this. I've been, I've been since. I've been back trying to get my hair cut. Oh and, as you can see, I haven't gotten your hair on yes, yep. Yep, I was supposed to get it cut, but it didn't happen, so it was scheduled for today. So live today, jimmy will be cutting my hair.
Jimmy Fantastic:I didn't even know that was happening, but I don't know.
Curt Shewell:But this is how did you get this color? How did I get?
Johnny Awesome:this color yeah, never seen this color on your head by shaving it and growing it all back out. Oh yeah, he remembers the good old days for those of you that have been with us since the very beginning, when my hair was blue, I believe is what you're referencing.
Jimmy Fantastic:Right, you weren't the XB colors, yeah.
Curt Shewell:Yeah, you've had a few different and I don't know I've ever seen that color Really.
Johnny Awesome:Yeah, it's been like this for a while now.
Johnny Awesome:So you say, all right, good, well, we got that situated out. So, kurt, you know we brought you on. We welcome you, john. You have a charity that you run that's near and dear to your heart. You're near and dear to our heart. I think that this is actually, if it's okay, the first annual. We'd love to do this again next year, really build this up and continue to do this every year, and so I I'd like you just to talk a little bit about the charity that you have, and then we're going to get the information out to folks so that they can donate throughout the show.
Curt Shewell:But if you would go ahead and chat with us a little bit, johnny, you guys. I mean, when, when Jimmy said, hey, by the way, we're doing, we're doing this telethon and we, we picked your charity as our charity and I was like, oh well, that's kind of cool, that's very nice, yeah, and he said, oh, by the way, it starts tonight at midnight, I'm like, oh, that's cool. And I said, is that, is that the thing Cause Johnny had had talked to me about I don't know, six, eight weeks ago, something like that. I was out of town and you had called me and we talked for probably half an hour, had a great conversation. I mean, anytime you talk to Johnny, you know you start kind of here and you end up way over here somewhere and it's like, wow, every single time and it's pretty neat. And the way your brain works is is, I think, something really special. And I used to think it was like, damn, this guy's weird Me.
Johnny Awesome:And then I was like my teachers always said that too, His brain's pretty special. You're not the first person to tell me that.
Curt Shewell:I'm a call special if you tell myself.
Curt Shewell:So it's usually never in a good way Right. So it's really neat, cause your brain really works and it clicks, man, when it gets going. It's a fun place to be and watch. And watch your brain work the way it does Like the few times you and I've interacted in through you know interview style type things you always pull certain pieces out and it's interesting to me that you're able to really do a lot of great things and you can take something and you catch it and you hear it, and then you're like wait a minute, where did this, where did that come from? Let's go with that. And you just seem to be able to articulate the right pieces at the right times and you can take things and you've done that to me a few times where you take me into really places that that I honestly don't really talk a lot about certain things and you got to get me in these weird places and it's like how the heck did he get me into that?
Jimmy Fantastic:Yeah.
Curt Shewell:Yeah, See, Jimmy's really nice. He never he's like yeah, I'll probably just divert that, let's not go there. Yeah, that's probably not good when Johnny's like let's go right in that, let's get in that room, you know that's you.
Curt Shewell:So with that, you know, became a lot of information about different things and our charity is something that it's a weird thing, Real passionate about it, love it. My son, matt, is the one who started it, and the Stephanie Sheenwell Memorial Fund is what it's called, and he started it and it really took off and it became a really neat thing and I struggled with it at first. The very first year we had a golf outing as a like a charity event and it was kind of more of a. It was designed, let's, you know, family and friends and everything, and it was a year after Stephanie went to heaven and it was like, hey, let's just do something more in her honor and let's, you know, do a really kind of cool golf outing which will end up making a little bit of money probably not much, you know, a few under bucks or something and let's get some gifts and some prizes and we'll do that and make it a cool thing. Well, all of a sudden, everybody loved that and it turned into kind of a cool thing that first year and it was like, wow, we had like 60, I think we had 64 golfers and we're like, wow, this is way better than we thought and it turned out to be a pretty cool event and we had, like, the money we raised was like $3,000. And it was like, wow, we made three grand. We didn't think we're gonna be $3,300. And it wasn't about raising money, it wasn't about really that. It was more of a feel good and it was kind of a hey, we didn't forget and we want to honor you know her that way. And then we're like Well, what are you going to do? And we're like, well, shoot, we could probably help a few people with this. This is pretty cool stuff and it was.
Curt Shewell:It's interesting because when you have a charity and it takes off and it really grows and people really get behind it. You know, we donated all the money, we donated all of our time, we donated everything and people were just coming out of all kinds of places to be part of it and we were getting people that would tell us you know, this is the coolest. You know golf hotting we've ever been to and we've gone to a lot of charity golf hottings. And because it was, it was just real and it wasn't. It was never about driving this, we're gonna hammer for up tons and tons of money.
Curt Shewell:And then I had friends who had businesses and stuff, and friends that have run big events and been part of big events, and it was interesting to me was they were like you know, why aren't you guys bringing in like stupid money? And we're like it's just, it's not what we're, we're not trying to do that. You know, if we can raise five grand or 10 grand or something would be like amazing, we could help one or two or three families. Because when you start realizing what these families go through during the time they have a kid with cancer and that's our charity, it's helping local people that have kids with cancer. And you know, it's just something that we know how to do. You know, unfortunately, but we get it and by helping these people.
Curt Shewell:There's so much you have to do and there's amazing charities out there that make a wish foundation, rainbow connection. You know these, these companies are there's so many, are phenomenal at helping and they'll give you a trip and they'll. You know, hey, you can meet a celebrity or you know, you can give you a phenomenal memory and you can't put a price on that. It's, it's fantastic. However, no pun intended, that's a dollar, all right, it's really awesome. We'll be donating it back. Yeah, and it's really awesome Another dog but what what we found was that we knew the areas that they really needed to help. And you know, the trips are great and I think there's a there's a place for that and I think it's really wonderful. So I would never want that to stop. But they go to the trip, they're there for a couple days or a week or a weekend or whatever that is, and then they come home and everything's still the same, everything's still real. Nothing changed. Yeah, but they got a great memory and when the outcome is bleak and it's bad, they want those memories, because that's probably the biggest thing.
Curt Shewell:And I get asked all the time like, okay, what happens, and how do you survive? And like, how do you even go on? And like, oh my gosh, and these people, their fear is oh my God, I don't wanna be like you and I don't want that ending. I want the good ending right, and you have to really embrace the journey to see what it is that you're supposed to see. And that was the thing that I think we I got out of it and my family not all of them got the same thing, and I think that's a fair thing and a real thing. Some of them don't quite see it the same way I do. I see the beauty of everything that we uncovered with stuff and we got to see a lot of things that we never would have seen. We took a lot for granted. You take life for granted. We go through things. Your kids they don't get sick, they don't die. That's what you see on TV. That's not real. So when these people are faced with this adversity and they're faced with this possibility that their child may not be around, it's a real, real, scary, tough, difficult thing for a parent to gather.
Curt Shewell:You go through a series of emotions you go through.
Curt Shewell:Am I a good parent Because I can't protect my child?
Curt Shewell:If you're a mother, I think the mother's connection typically in most cases to a child is that bond that is just like insane right, everybody you respect and love your mother. Your mother loves you like nobody, right, and you can't compare a mother's love type of scenario. But at the same time as a dad and I know it from a dad perspective, so I'm not suggesting it's any better or worse for a dad than it is for the mom, but the dad you go through a different series of emotions when your baby's born and your children are born and you guys have kids. So you have a feeling you can't explain right, and I'm sure moms do too but you have this dad thing and you kicks into this. I've got to protect this with everything. And like, oh my gosh, you get away and who's telling you? And you start kind of going through these weird thoughts. Are you on the baby's born and you're like, all right, whoa, whoa, you're not taking that through the other room, I'm gonna be watching you. That's where you switch the babies.
Johnny Awesome:I know where you do this stuff right. This is where this happens.
Curt Shewell:And you go into this Papa Bear thing.
Curt Shewell:And I know there's a mama bear thing there's a Papa Bear thing that comes into place and all of a sudden, you feel this sense of oh my God, I have to protect something. You're married and you have that. This is my wife and I'm gonna take care of my wife, protect my wife, and you have this sense of that. You'd have no idea what that's like until you have a baby, Until you have a baby, yeah. And then it's like all bets are off. Okay, everything starts and ends right here, nobody's gonna hurt this baby, nothing gonna happen to this baby.
Curt Shewell:And then, all of a sudden, years go on and you're living normal and you take typical life for granted and they think to some extent we still should. But to really see the things that go on, I think is special, where people really see that stuff and I think I was the normal, I didn't see a lot of it and all of a sudden, one of your kids is sick, for real, it makes everything real, and then it just stops you in your tracks and then you have to really recognize everything and really see it. Well, you go through this part where I'm supposed to protect this child, right, and there's something beating this child up or harming this child and ultimately, of course, killing your child, and it's like how do I stop it? Yeah, right, and as a dad, it's physical right, give me something. No way I'm gonna let this happen. Well, you can't fight something that's inside them that you can't get to. And it isn't for the lack of trying or your will. I mean, you trade places with them. In like eight seconds it'd be all over.
Curt Shewell:You're like I mean I'm done, I got it, you're good, I'm out. You would do that and you'd trade places, but you can't and it's not how it works. So you have to really go to another place and accept the greatest failure in your mind that you could have. I can't protect my own child and I don't know if there's something that's harder than that. Because you look at yourself internally of I am failing in the most important piece I could ever have and I'm failing miserably because I can't stop this. I can't help them and they're looking at you for that. Make it go away, make it stop right. And you're just like. I am trying desperately and I can't do it and it's a really tough thing.
Curt Shewell:But I can relate to these parents going through this and I can understand where they're coming from and what happens is people try to help people all the time and I think people are inherently good and I think people are inherently wonderful and beautiful people and they wanna help and they do all the right things. The problem is you don't know what to say and so you say what you think that person wants to hear, or you say it from your heart. Jimmy gosh, I feel I understand how you've, I know how you've, I'm right here with you and you're like you have no clue the depths of how I feel right now. So when you say that, you make me so angry.
Jimmy Fantastic:And I'll say this too, like on that note like I don't wanna know you know what I mean. Like I don't wanna know how that feels I don't you know what I mean.
Johnny Awesome:Like it's selfishly. Maybe that's me, but I it's not selfish.
Jimmy Fantastic:Some people don't say that. Won't say that out loud, I will. I don't wanna fucking know.
Curt Shewell:Right, no, and you're really.
Johnny Awesome:We're all Friday's five second late delay.
Curt Shewell:We beeped him we beeped him and you don't right. So, and to say that to people sometimes like shocks him a little bit or get some angry and you tell him listen, when you tell somebody that you know they're like, yeah, but I really do feel it. And there are people who do, and they're you know, they're close to you and your other family members, oh, my God, you know, because they're feeling pain. They're feeling something along the lines of what you're feeling, it's just at a different depth. So they still feel the same pains. They're still feeling the law. They're feeling all these, all these emotions, and their heart is bleeding for you and bleeding for the child and they're trying to figure out how they can help.
Curt Shewell:Well, you can't help. How can they right? It's a really tough thing and you go through it. So they say these things and what it does. It angers you and it gets you more charged because you're grasping for anything. And these other people? Well, I know you feel you haven't got a clue how I feel. I am so destroyed right now. I'm trying to keep it together and I'm trying to do these things and I gotta figure this out because you still have that. I gotta figure it out.
Johnny Awesome:Yeah, yeah.
Curt Shewell:No, it ain't in your hands and this is the first part where you have to get yourself there. So this charity is really about understanding that and I hope I didn't bore people with that, but that's where we go and that's where we start. The money's great and it can help in so many ways, but we're not looking to give somebody a trip. We've done a few things similar to that on a couple cases, but it's been 16 years. So 15 years in the charity and what we've been able to do is give them more specifics so they've been able to help them with their.
Curt Shewell:The child if, for lack of a better way to put it becomes a child with some very special needs. So people like think you have a special needs child, it could mean a lot of things and people typically go down. They were born with some type of disadvantage or a handicap or something like that. No, they become very special needed because there's so many things they can't do anymore. There's so many things that they can't go down the path that they did. There's so many things they can't do, so many things they have to change, so many things they have to learn and with our case, with brain tumors and brain surgeries. The minute they go in and crack into your brain and they start messing around with stuff, something's going to come out different, right? You can't mess with your brain, you can't mess with your spine without something changing. So you're gonna have we'll call it side effects, but you're gonna have fallout or residual things that happen from these things and when that happens you need a lot of other things that you never had to need. So, for example, a lot of times in these, in a lot of houses, what we would be able to do is help out a lot just with putting railings, hand rails and things like that in the bathrooms, in the showers, and then change the shower adapters for them and get hand tools and such. So the child, depending on their age, they can still wash themselves and stuff, because sometimes they don't have the use of both their hands anymore. They don't have the ability to dexterity to do certain things and we experienced all those things.
Curt Shewell:So the child has a lot of other tough things. Stephanie, for example her she's right-handed but yet after the first brain surgery it was the very first one and she had four, but after the very first one, what ended up happening was her right side didn't work the right way anymore. So she had to go through physical therapy to kind of do these things, and it was a very big struggle. Well, she had to learn how to right-left-handed. She had to learn how to do everything left-handed.
Curt Shewell:When she first came out of her first brain surgery, her face didn't work anymore, so she couldn't close her eyes, she couldn't close her mouth, she couldn't feed herself. It was a really difficult thing and eventually half of her face woke up. The other half didn't. So you go through these different things and then it's not even so much the cosmetics of how it looks, it's what they are able or not able to do, right, right, and your kids will blow your mind at how resilient they are, how smart they are and how quickly they adapt and they change and adjust, and it's just awesome, tragic at the same time, horrible and beautiful. So when you see these things, you start realizing okay, this is where you can help them, because we didn't know either and I was trying to do different things.
Jimmy Fantastic:Yeah, I mean, this is how you end up in real estate, right?
Curt Shewell:She's the reason I'm in real estate, yeah, and it's a crazy path, but here I am all these years later and it's like wow. So when she got sick, you've gotta figure things out. So I went a year without working and trying to find a miracle cure and all this kind of stuff. And it's not about me you do what you gotta do. Problem is I have four other kids.
Jimmy Fantastic:It goes back to being the dad mode, right, you bad. You just flipped that your dad mode, you bad. Switch goes on, you bad.
Curt Shewell:Yeah. I'm gonna fix this freaking thing no matter what you bad, I will find an answer for it. Right and you go through. I mean you turn every rock and every stone you can and try to figure it out and you're pushing doctors to their limits.
Curt Shewell:Oh yeah, and you get to a point where some of these doctors don't wanna talk to you anymore, right. Right, because you find out how human the doctors are and that's alarming to you because you need them to be. They have a God complex and stuff and you need those doctors, right, and you need them to say that. But when they can't deliver on it, you're like listen, you, son of a gun, you told me, you said you could do this and you can't. And then you see when they're frustrated and you see when they're at their wits and like I didn't work, like what do you mean? It didn't work, it's not an option. Didn't work is not in this conversation. What am I paying you for?
Curt Shewell:Yeah, so you go through that stuff, and it's crazy. So, with the families that are going through this stuff, they're fearful of all these things, and we went through a path that went more on the tougher, negative side, so we saw that. So I can quickly see when they're getting better news and things are going in a better direction. It's really great, so you can kind of relate to them. What you have to be careful of, though, too, is they look at you and they're looking for the answers. They want you to provide answers.
Curt Shewell:What I give them is the answer of why it happened to them, and it was probably the best thing I was able to be able to figure out during that journey to help others later on. And what I mean is this and I'll share it with you guys it's this simple. It's not an easy task, but it's this simple. People always want to know why me, why my child, why us, why did this happen? And you have to understand this is so much bigger than you, and if you don't have any belief in anything, you better find one, because you better believe in something. They agree. Yeah, we're making sure.
Johnny Awesome:Maybe my wife out there honking at me Like hey pick it up, let's go, pal, it's getting late. So because our mics are real good I don't know if you guys were able to hear that but because we are live and we are in the window. We have fans that are driving by and honking and honking yeah it's pretty cool so hey.
Curt Shewell:So that was the other guys starting to hear my wife yelling at me like hey because I know she's listening to this, right, so I'm like, don't forget to tell them this part.
Jimmy Fantastic:Would you?
Curt Shewell:stop rambling and just get to the point. So when they go through it, they all want to know why did this happen? How did this happen? Those kinds of things. And I think what's really great is we're able to give them the answer to that. And the answer is really it's you were chosen to go through this your child's special for real. Because you got this handed to you, this horrific challenge, this horrible thing because the person next door, your sister, your brother, your cousin, your parents, your whoever else they wouldn't be able to handle it Right. And you can. And that's the first thing that I talk to them about is listen.
Curt Shewell:The why is you were chosen for a reason. I don't know the reason you were chosen, but what I do know is you were chosen because you can do this. You can get through this, no matter which way, what direction this goes, you can do this and you're not alone. And the hardest part at the beginning is give me an answer. Give me an answer. Give me an answer and you're why, why, why, why, why. So if we can get the why out of there real quick and get them to look inward and go, okay, I have to step up to this, because people, so many people, oh my God, I could never. I would die. There's just no way. I couldn't do it. I could not do it. And they're serious and they believe that and I tell them you could if you had to. You're amazing what you can do if you have to.
Jimmy Fantastic:Yeah, like you said, there's a why, right, and you're searching for the why and there really probably isn't one. You know what I mean? Oh, I think there is. I think it's.
Curt Shewell:you were chosen to go through it. Somebody has to go through it. Yeah, somebody has to go through it, right? So you're gonna go through it because he knows you can do this, because you're not alone. And if you understand that, even when it goes not the way you want, if you can see the incredible little wins and there's so many of them it was amazing when Steph couldn't use her right hand.
Curt Shewell:It was amazing to watch her use her left hand and then, when she couldn't swallow, to watch her take a straw, hold the thing. A cup in her hand was a chocolate milk carton and for her to take the straw with her hand. She could do this with it, keep it in there, but she couldn't do this. So what she did was she took the carton, switched hands, put it in her right hand so she could just hold her hand, just to hold it against her body, put the straw in her mouth with her left hand that she could use. She put, looped the straw between her fingers and grabbed her lips and pulled them closed because she couldn't close her mouth around the straw so she could suck. And she sucked down that carton, literally just gone, and literally took the carton, tossed it and went like that and I was like, cause she couldn't talk, so she can't talk, she can't tell you anything.
Curt Shewell:And she put her hand out for another one, like let's go, let's go, I got this and if you can picture the scene it started I was doing, the only thing I could think of was put the straw in the chocolate milk. Put your finger on the top of the straw, you know it captures a little bit of the air and then I'm putting in her mouth and like, and it's just the smallest little amounts, and she's getting frustrated and she's getting sangr and she's because she can't talk.
Jimmy Fantastic:And that was really frustrating, more frustrating, right, right, right.
Curt Shewell:So she was getting more angry cause she couldn't talk. And then she just took it from me. And then, when I watched her do this and she put it, I mean we're adults, we're supposed to be the smart ones?
Jimmy Fantastic:We're supposed to be the smart ones? Yeah, we're totally not.
Curt Shewell:And she figured out. So it's things like that and I remember and recall so many of these things and it's, you know, you're trying to figure it out and sometimes you're like, okay, so we got a little experience, we can figure some shit out. But at the end of the day, when they do these remarkable things and you see them, and then you see them proud of themselves and then you're like, okay, thinking proud of yourself. One of the you know, one of the most amazing parts and I'm not saying I was like a Jerry Lewis telethon to tug on your heartstrings, but if you really you know to understand some of this stuff one of the most beautiful moments was probably about probably about what's the better about? Maybe six months in and we had gone through different treatments and radiations and chemotherapy drugs and they said, okay, this one's gonna where she's gonna lose all her hair and everything.
Curt Shewell:So just so many beautiful things happen in this. First, we knew this was gonna happen, so we had to get your hair cut shorter. So her hair was already short, so we thought, okay, that'll help from the shock and I'll just got this gorgeous, beautiful hair down. You know that would pass her shoulders and we're like, okay, we got to cut her hair short so that way it doesn't look so traumatic when it's such crap. We convinced ourselves that that was gonna be better, right, but but cutting it certainly helped.
Curt Shewell:Well, what was needed was her brother. Jamie said, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cut my hair short too. And then when she went in to have the hair cut we had, you know, the stylist came to the hospital, did it in the hospital room, which was such a great thing it was, and we made it like a really fun event so that way cuz she was definitely freaking a little about, no, my hair is gonna be really short, right, you know it's gonna be about this long and then. So Jamie's like a buzz, mine right now. So he did the military cut it shorter than yours. I mean, he cut it short and she was like, oh my god, like Jamie, what are you doing? And you know, and you know, the kids are close and the kids are like the peak kids.
Jimmy Fantastic:Yeah, I know right, honk when you drive by. Help, you can't even drive. I just honk South Old Woodward in Birmingham. Just honk when you by Johnny, that wave all day tomorrow no, not only that, but don't forget it's open.
Johnny Awesome:Roll call the door is welcome to walk in at any point in time, any point there is sleep, walking and wait.
Curt Shewell:They're like what happened when.
Jimmy Fantastic:I tap on there's. There's coffee, there's some energy drinks, there's some Celsius.
Curt Shewell:I got some stuff I gotta I gotta deli tray with two different meats cheese, two cheeses and crackers. Awesome, if you guys some of the nibble on and sometimes it helps, right, oh yeah, and then I've got you guys some cool little desserts and stuff oh, thank you, thank you figured. The sugarbuzz will help to yeah yeah, I like these are pretty good hey out but it was.
Curt Shewell:It was like moments like that that everybody rallies and then all sudden, jamie's tell you he's like I'm gonna cut my hair because it'll make her know that she's not alone. And you're like this is one of your other kids, you know, and you're just like, wow, this is really cool stuff. And you hear stories like that a lot. Yeah, and it's beautiful to see and you know, when you hear these things, I relate to them very well. And what's neat is when the night her hair came out completely, I was ready for I'm like, okay, I got this and she started to brush her hair getting ready to go to bed and she had taken a shower getting ready to bed and she started a brush and it literally came right out like like, literally like a movie or a cartoon where you think like this and it's like rips the entire hair right out, right, not rips, it sounds dramatic, but it just comes right out very easily.
Curt Shewell:Yeah, and she had the brush. She's like oh, oh. And I looked and I'm like what's up, honey? And we are all kind of like, oh, what's up? And she's like look, I think my hair is coming out. And we're like, oh, okay, and I'm like got this dad to the rescue, right? I got this and I'm like okay, yeah, a little bit of hair and, well, a lot of it here.
Curt Shewell:Well, there's a clump of hair like that I'm like oh, look, it's yeah okay, and she's like alright, you want me to help you, and she's like mmm, and you can see that she's like like this is a really big moment and it is for her.
Curt Shewell:This ain't about you, it's about her, yeah, and I'm like got you and I'm looking in the mirror and my wife's right here their brothers is this is right here and I'm freaking, go like this with the first brush and it just like literally makes like a lane right, just a little skull. There's no, nothing, there's just all I right and I'm doing like one row, but this wide and I can't breathe and I am like, oh my god, and I'm looking in the mirror and she's looking at me and I'd made her a deal. You never have to worry, no matter who's in the room crying, no matter who gets upset. You know if it's your mom getting upset or if it's, you know, sherry mom getting upset, or if it's your brothers or sisters, your grandmothers, your grandpa's, everybody your hands like they're all gonna cry every time they see you. So don't worry about it. I said, if you ever want to know, you look at me and I ain't worried, you ain't worried.
Curt Shewell:Not a cure. What the doctors say, I don't care. When anybody say, fine, you mean I got you. So she would look all the time. Right, yeah, we're good, we're good, we're good. And there would be times, too, where somebody comes, like in the hospital rooms or whatever, and you see them and it was like, oh, I know that one's gonna get me, so then I would go and meet them on the other side of the curtain so she couldn't ever see me and I would make sure she couldn't hear me and you know I've balled a million times but she just never seen it. So I literally couldn't breathe with the brush in my hair. And my wife was staying right there and she saw me and she's like, oh shit, kurt's losing it and I was literally this close to just losing it and I'm like breathe, I can't.
Curt Shewell:If I breathe, it's coming out. Yeah, mom, that's, the faucets are going. I can't do this. Oh, my god, I'm freezing here and my wife just crushed give me that this is a girl, this is not a boy thing. What is your dad think he's doing is she's left and she's like, yeah, and I'm like, great. And my wife just grabbed the brush right out of my hand and she's like get out of here and like turned me quickly because I was just about to lose it. And I go right into my room because she was in our bedroom. Yeah, I go through the door here and out the other door that goes out into the hallway. And yeah, man, so she and I had to run downstairs and just bury my face on a pillow so she can hear me. And I was dying. I could.
Curt Shewell:It was. It was dramatic for her. Here I am the one falling apart, right, and you in. This happens. And I counsel and talk to the parents about this kind of stuff and share the story. So they got it and what had happened and you know, share brush all around, stuff was great with it and so after was all all all good or done or whatever, and they brought me back in the room.
Curt Shewell:I was allowed to come back in, right, and I'm like, okay, and so I was. I was just like, hey, I love this. You know I'm just kissing her head and you know I was already crying out. So I was good, I was like I think I'm good and it was great, and she's like my daddy, it's really a listen and I'm like, oh, yeah, you know. So we made it like a cool thing, yeah, and I'm like, and I asked my wife how did you do that? She's like that's because you couldn't tell my. Okay, you're right, you're right, thank God, right, you can't do any of this stuff alone. You really need your help, you need your people. So then went in a bathroom and we sleep in bed that night and stuff slept with us that night. So it's staff, my wife, me, so stuff sharing me in that order. And where our bed was positioned, our bedroom we had a big dresser with those you know, the giant mirror things.
Curt Shewell:You know, old bedroom sets, you know, with a huge everything's mirrors. So we're laying there and in the morning my wife I'm laying there, sleeping, kind of you know. We're stacked in a row and she elbows me love the horns.
Curt Shewell:She elbows me she freaking, elbows me and wakes me, you know, I'm like, and then I'm looking in the mirror and I'm looking at the three of us, boom, boom, boom and stuff's like literally looking in the mirror and she's kind of like turn, it had a little and and she's like touching her head and she's looking in the mirror. So I'm laying where I could just see over my wife's head and see the mirror and I can see my wife looking in the mirror at me and looking at her and I'm looking at her and I'm looking at her, my wife and I'm like, oh, wow, okay, cuz stuff's really looking at her head and we're and I'm thinking, oh god, I fell apart yesterday last night. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't even imagine. She's thinking and all of a sudden she goes, she looks, she looks up and sees that we're looking, you're watching, yeah, so she knows we're watching and she goes.
Curt Shewell:She's laser just had done the pillow. She goes. You know what? She's right behind her and she's what, honey, she goes. I look really good bald, don't I? And she goes, I think. So she goes. I'm actually really pretty. I'm like, ah, ah, I'm losing it again.
Curt Shewell:Shit, I can't wear it on my face. I'm like dying.
Curt Shewell:And it was the most beautiful, wonderful thing that she said. You know I'm really pretty bald. Yeah, I got this and it was just so enlightening, so wonderful, and I'm trying to keep it together, you know. So I just got to reach over and give them the hugs so I can put my head beyond my wife's head. So I'm like God, I suck at this, like I'm supposed to be this tough guy and doing all this stuff. And he was like but these are these moments that are so incredible.
Curt Shewell:And had I missed that out of anger, if had I missed that out of being? You know why me and why her and why us? And it's never been about us and it wasn't, and I was as normal as anybody else. Like I said, it took everything for granted and you really get stopped in your tracks and it changes the way you see things and it changes how you react to things and when it's up happening is you overcompensate in so many ways on different things and then you go the other way in so many other things. You're too lenient on stuff, you're too over the top on other stuff, and I became the guy that took a million pictures because I wanted to, you know, photograph and video every second of everything, in case this goes, you know, bad in my mind. You know I don't want to chronicle everything and you know it's interesting. Over the years I've got a collection of pictures and videos that you ain't. I don't know any child and in a three year period of time has got more pictures or videos of them.
Curt Shewell:And I took her during that time into my other kids and what the reality is. I have this many pictures of her as non-sick, you know, up till she was eight years old when she ate, when she got sick, 11 when she went to heaven, and then I've got this many for those three years of the sick. So my wife had asked me a few years ago she goes, she goes, why don't you? I'm going to put a little collage thing together. These are Steph's birthday, which is April 30th, or it was her birthday when she went to heaven, which is in August, and it was just last week. And so I'm like, okay, I said, what do you, what do you, what do you try to do? Which I want to put a little picture collage together. She goes, but I don't want any when she was sick. I want pictures that she when she wasn't sick.
Curt Shewell:And I'm like, okay, I start going through my computer and I'm looking up and I started realizing how many I had of the sick versus the non.
Curt Shewell:I'm like, wow, you know. And you start looking at those and you're like, okay, you know, and it's a really thing, because you, you have so much memory and so much, because you're so locked in from the time she was sick versus before that, and there was so many incredible memories before that. But you get hung up on these ones and I think that was therapeutic to me and that was about five years ago, and I think that helped me a ton. So, therapy wise, maybe I need a shrink, I don't know, but that was a very big aha moment for me. And then I started, you know what. I got to stop remembering everything just when she was sick, because there was so many great things and I focused on those, which is good, but at the same time, you got to make sure you've got the rest and you know and really enjoy that piece, Because eight years, yeah, because that's what the other kids remember too right, and so it's a really interesting thing.
Curt Shewell:So when I talk to these parents, I ask a lot of much better questions. I'm getting way better at asking the right questions now with that, so to help them, out.
Jimmy Fantastic:You should almost you should almost start teaching people how to ask questions.
Curt Shewell:You would think that and you know it's funny, right? Real estate what do we teach all the time? I'm the king of ask the right questions. I'm very scripted and objection handling and you know that way, as you guys, as you are and you are and we all, you know, do this and coach and teach, train agents and it has a lot to do with this stuff. Right, and this is part of our evolution and all my successes it's. I can relate in my career today. I can relate to a lot of it coming from that. So when we talk about it in the TV show and all this stuff that you know, all this incredible success that I've been fortunate and so crazily blessed to have in real estate these last you know we'll have for many years now is crazy good. But I look at it from that all the time and it's like man, it's amazing. So, to help these other families in a way that you can really help them, you know, yeah, we give them money, yeah, we pay for a lot of things. You know it's great when we can make sure that we focus a lot too.
Curt Shewell:And if there's a sick kid and there's brothers or sisters, we focus on them. So, because they get, they get forgotten, they get left behind. Everybody comes over to the house to see the family, to see the parents, to see the sick kid, and everybody brings a gift, everybody brings something for that sick child and it's very beautiful and it's wonderful and please do that. However, don't forget the other kids resent that and they get upset about it and they'll start asking questions, like one of ours did oh hey, how old am I when I'm gonna get my cancer? And we're like what? And you're about to fall off your chair when they say that you can't breathe, like what? And then you want to grab them and shake them and like you're not gonna have that, that's not gonna happen, and you're really freaking out about it. And then you got to stop for a second. Well, what do they see Right? And they're like, yeah, because she gets all kinds of gifts and everybody comes over and gives her all these wonderful things and you're like, oh, my God, we need to focus. So you play defense and everything, cause it's coming at you and you're just learning. So now I'm really good again at helping them ask themselves the right questions and are you doing this or are you doing that? Is this happening yet? Is this happening yet, because you've got to pay attention to stuff. So we're really good at doing things to help the other kids. What's really cool, too, is when it's Christmas, holidays, birthdays, whatever have you.
Curt Shewell:The sick kid doesn't get to participate in a lot of things go shopping and stuff like that, depending on how sick they are at the times. So what we do, too, is we help them with. We get a list from them of what do they want to buy their parents for Christmas, and then we get it for them and give it to them. So all the people that donate and share. These are different things that we do, and then we do tons of things throughout the year with them.
Curt Shewell:We had one family that we sponsored that he was a. He was actually a junior in high school, going into his senior year, and he got leukemia and he was the hockey captain of the hockey team and he was the goalie for the hockey team and amazing family and he had an older brother, younger sister. He was the middle of the three and, as I can see him, since he couldn't play and he was our captain, they came to his house every single day after practice. Well, every day they come over. Well, you got, you know, 14 kids showing up your house, a lot of food, teenage boys.
Johnny Awesome:They each out of house in the Gatorades.
Curt Shewell:So we literally were stacking, like you see, all those cases you guys got back.
Curt Shewell:We would literally bring every month. We would bring cases of Gatorades, all the flavors, and drop those off from. We would bring huge boxes of the Frito LA chips and we would bring just as many as we could possibly get our hands on to these guys because there was never enough. And Then we would bring huge things of this is back before COVID, right. So we would bring huge things of disinfectant, wipes and Sanitizers, because you've got to do all this stuff so, but all this stuff costs a lot of money. Yeah, you start talking about hundreds of dollars, hundreds of dollars, hundred, you know.
Jimmy Fantastic:Three hundred dollars a month's no big deal until it's a year, you know you're like holy shit, you know, and that's one of the things I think that is is so important about about this charity and like Getting it out there is is like it's the little things that people don't count on, right, it's that. It's that it's like you spoke about it this morning on the on the 730 call this morning when it was like you know, it's people everybody's coming over my house to visit which is great.
Jimmy Fantastic:But now I got to put snacks out and I got to put food out and I got to put drinks out. I got it, you know. And I got to clean the house, and I got it. Hmm, plus, I still have to take care of the sick child on top of all those other stuff.
Curt Shewell:Can't tell me how many times they come over right at dinner time too, and you guys got to eat. You got to feed your kids, yeah, and they're there, and they want to be there and you can't go. Hey, let's think, and you better pretend 15. Can you leave for like an hour and come back? I got to feed my kids, yeah, oh, they're ants. Oh, it's okay, we'll eat anything. Oh, yeah, I know you will, but I Gotta buy two pizzas now. I gotta buy four pizzas and it's like you know, I can't afford four pizzas every night. I can't afford two buckets of chickens versus the one show, you know, and you start the food, the, and I people don't understand. The food bill runs through the thousands of dollars in a month's time and it's crazy.
Curt Shewell:And when the family stuck in this, kids, you know the hospital, because they're sick, and when you kids are that sick they're constantly spending, you know, days, in weeks in the hospital, at time when that happens. So what's crazy about it is, you know, so, what we would do and we would, you know, try to, you know, transfer off. So you know who says at the hospital time. Well, you know, when we were doing this, my wife, like, okay, you're gonna be. I was the night guy, so I would stay through the whole night. Well, I'm there.
Curt Shewell:So at dinnertime, if we're gonna eat as a family, just bear. I got four of the kids. Well, my wife would grab the kids, bring up to the hospital and pick up. You know, can take my chicken or pick up tacos or pick up whatever and bring the food. Well, when you're eating out every single night and you money doesn't mean they got to go pick this stuff up and then bring it you start adding this stuff up. It's crazy, it's crazy, crazy. So, you know, we help, you know, people even with the gas cards, and we help them with the parking at these parking structures, you know.
Johnny Awesome:And just all the little things that you never think about. Right until nickel and dime never thought about that.
Jimmy Fantastic:The parking itself, which is not expensive right on top of all the other stuff.
Curt Shewell:It is like you're there for six weeks in two days which we spent those, and you have one car and they'll even give you, like, a pass or something. Yeah but they don't give you the pass for the other car when your spouse comes. So now you still got to pay it right, it's only three dollars a day, yeah, times, you know.
Curt Shewell:Six weeks in two days, all of a sudden. Well, you just spent a couple hundred bucks in parking, right, and then I got to eat out of a vending machine and I get it out of a cafeteria every day. Well, okay, good news, it's only five bucks. Seven bucks, ten bucks, twelve bucks a day a day, right, do that for six weeks, you know, and you start going holy smokes and I'm only gonna have a pop, right, well, pops, three bucks out of the vending machine, yeah, good thing, I'm only gonna have three of those, right, for these eight, nine, ten, twelve, fourteen hours, right, okay, well, that's nine bucks for three pops, you know. So you don't realize it. So when we give them the vouchers, we give them all these different things, it helps them so much. It's unreal. And you know, you start looking at all the different things you can do and then you start fixing things to their houses and putting in Ramps and we've done ramps for houses. We've done, you know. We've changed the bedrooms, we've changed doors, we've replaced doors, we've got them special doors that can open and close. We've we hit a button Automated doors. We've given them.
Curt Shewell:You know, buddy, mine owns one of the biggest retirement home communities in the country and they get the, you know the, the chairs, that that you know, the shower, shower chairs. So they go through a lot of them because people in the old folks homes, you know, other times sometimes is short and they end up with a lot of these chairs and they'll donate these chairs to us and then we could get these chairs to these people and it's amazing how much that helps. So you start realizing these things. And then the wheelchairs, and then he gets a lot of that stuff. So we could pick these things up, you know, because when they're really sick, a lot of times that they need a wheelchair for short Interims and that maybe not all the time and some of them end up needing a wheelchair, you know, and you gotta be able to have these things and to be able to help them in those kind of ways is crazy.
Curt Shewell:And then when the family's got, you know, like kids really sick, and they're out of town or they go to st Jude and if they have to go to st Jews or Johns Hopkins, these other places and we've been to these places You're gone for chunks of time. Well, in the winter Michigan you need somebody to shovel your snow, so we take care of that, and then in the summertime, they don't need to concentrate or worry about cutting their ass. They need to know that it's just handled. So right can focus on the stuff that really matters and you don't think of these things. So what?
Curt Shewell:What happened with us? Right, people did these things for us and people Surprised us with these things, or these are the things that were struggles, and what I help a lot of these people do too, is just lay out a plan and find that person. Who's that? You know it's a brother, is it a sister? Is it who's the champion for you? Right? Is it your best friend? Is it, you know, a cousin? Is it a neighbor? Who is that person that's gonna step up for you and that can really help, because everybody wants that, but I believe in their true, in their heart that they do so. What happens is these people go to step up and when you can tell them hey, listen, write down a list of every single thing that you do that you just don't have time to do right now, hmm, and Somebody to come in once a week just to clean their house.
Curt Shewell:Yeah right, little Molly made type scenario. Yep, give it to that person. Here's the list, here's everything I need, because everybody said what can I do to help? Just let me know, call me, call me, johnny, let me know. I'm not gonna call you and say get you know what would be great if you could want you know, if you could more of a cut my laundry. They'd be really great.
Johnny Awesome:Of course. Well, you're not even thinking of it at that point and you're not, and you're not bold enough to ask somebody.
Curt Shewell:Do these things and you think you feel foolish to even ask. So then it's not that I don't have a million needs, but I don't even want to ask. And then the bigger problem is the person who's in that position. Remember the dad thing? Yeah, you do have a little pride. Yeah, and your pride will get in your way.
Johnny Awesome:And it'll hurt you, your ego's messed up.
Curt Shewell:Yep. So what happens is you don't want to, you don't want to admit to yourself that you need that much help. You certainly don't want to admit you need financial help and you're in big trouble and you can't afford to pay your bills. And it gets tough and people don't understand that. Like well, you know insurance covers this and that covers almost everything, right? Well, it does almost everything. Well, when the bills are hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of dollars, almost, this is really great. But there's a piece that's not. And then you know, even when they cover these great things and doing me wrong, there's a lot of places are phenomenal. St Jude will cover it. Well, they'll cover it for one parent to come and the child. They'll cover your flight, which is amazing Long as the other parent doesn't want to be there right.
Curt Shewell:You gotta pay for that, right, and you get that. Hey, you got to be here tomorrow. You're on a plane and they'll book your flights. Boom, well, it's the other parent coming or not. And if they're flying, well, do you have enough for a plane ticket? And if they're not, are they driving? And then if you have a situation where the parents aren't married anymore, oh, who's going, who's not?
Curt Shewell:and, trust me, neither one's not going right, but one of them's paying on their own. Yeah, and we know which one that it's gonna be, yeah, so that's how that plays out, and it gets expensive.
Jimmy Fantastic:Yeah, and again, like you said, on top of parking and on top of this, and on top of that and on top of the food, and that's our taking trips to Memphis to go to st Jude? Yeah you know it's it's an 11-hour drive.
Curt Shewell:Know that drive really well, right, because only one of you gets the flight. The other one's got to drive and do it yourself and pay for it and you start adding it up. And then you've got to get your own hotel because there's only one room paid for and you can't stay in the same room because you guys.
Jimmy Fantastic:That's not a yeah, that ain't gonna work out.
Curt Shewell:An option so now you've got, how long are you there? Oh, hopefully you're only there for four or five days. Maybe you're there for four or five weeks. Okay, good news, it's only you know, hundred bucks a night, 200 bucks a night. Great news, great news, yep, hey. So you start going holy smokes and it's financially Devastated, and not to mention when you go do. That means you're not working Right, and that's how I got into that miracle job and that's what real estate became to me. Yeah, it's been amazing.
Curt Shewell:So there's so many things you can do to help people, but you have to really understand their journey and what stuff they're running and going through. So when you start, you start being able to help them in these ways and you know they're gonna go here and if you can understand what their dynamic is, everybody's story is different. You know everybody's got one and you got to find out what their story is and that's really what we concentrate on. And then, when you have the other kids, okay, you guys go here and let's say they're married couple, things are good, st Jude, lets them go. What? Somebody's got to take care of these other kids and somebody's got to make sure that they're getting to their practices and somebody's got to make sure that they're playing their sports. Yeah, but like we can't afford to buy him a new baseball bat, it's baseball season for the brother who's not sick right. Well, now he really hates his brother because he's not sick. Brother is or sister is
Curt Shewell:well, you got to make sure so we take care of those things, and but you got to give them the money for it right, and to take care of that stuff. So, you know, raising a little bit of money is never a bad thing if you know where to apply it or how to help. And that's what we focus on doing and it's been the most incredible Journey, because we help in so many different ways. You know, we don't buy him a pool, we don't send him to Disneyland and we don't call up celebrities and ask him to you know, Do a video or sign an autograph, right, do that stuff. Not that that stuff's not great, but that's what these other charities will do. Let them do that, because those are incredible memories. We'll stay in the trenches and let's let's help them for the long haul. And you know some of these families. You know you never, ever get rid of them and they stay in your life for a long time and hopefully you get that opportunity right. Yeah, because the other answer is not so great.
Johnny Awesome:Yeah, well, kurt, I you came in. It's been night, I don't know how long you're playing on staying, but if you could stay a little bit longer, I'd give you the. You want to know what the charity's about that's.
Curt Shewell:The charity's about it's about me, it's about the charity and I love that you guys picked. Our charity is a charity, so hopefully those stories kind of hope you guys understand the way we approach.